||[Dec. 2nd, 2007|05:03 pm]
Like most things I declare to maintain, like quitting smoking and TV and updating my LJ everyday I flaked out about half way there. I’m not worried though. The sad part is when I’m away from my computer I see and think lovely thoughts but when I sit to write I think, “Eh, who wants to read this anyway.”
I went to a Christmas party last night, a dress up Christmas party mind you. I went cheap and borrowed the suit my buddy Mario got married in – a 60s era green sharkskin suite to be exact. I looked awesome, but once I got there felt like a rube in comparison to all the other fancies parading around in their design suites and dresses. Did I mention most of my friends are designers or some sort or the other? I know money should have nothing to do with your friends and in general it doesn’t with my immediate fried circle, we’re all there for each other and social status doesn’t much matter. But at these parties there are a lot of their colleagues and work partners who come off pretty snooty. Of course it could be my insecurity. I work in a job I’m not particularly passionate about and I don’t make a lot of money. I’m not terribly ambitious when it comes to making money. Anyway, I left wondering what happened in my life where I decided I wasn’t going to peruse a career and be a professional. I have made attempts, but just never had the stick-to-itiveness to follow through or I just started perusing other interests which would eventually wilt away in the wake of another interest.
Do what you’re passionate about. For me, playing the drums is my passion, but honestly, it’s a lazy passion. I’m not the kind of drummer that sits down every chance I get at my kit to practice. I love to rehearse with my bands, I could rehearse for hours. I need people around me to work with to keep me interested, the human contact part of creating I find inspiring. I think that’s one of the reasons I’m not so crazy about writing is because I have to do it by myself.
Strange how I was able to get this out without caring about if anyone would want to read it or not.